How precise, targeted copywriting wins out!

I've mentioned the following writer a number of times as his thoughts, primarily based on testing and experience, is instructive, often humourous and as a direct marketer, always practical.

There is a ongoing discussion whether short copy is best or longer copy sells more. The length might depend on the medium, as with Adwords which has a maximum of 95 characters to attract attention, pitch the sale and elicit a response, or newspaper lineage ads which charge by the word or col/centimetre.

Where these are not a prime consideration is where the debate resides and although cost may not be the overriding limiting factor, value for money and return on investment are so getting the best return is paramount.

Anyway here it is:-

Today I thought I'd give you a bit of culture, in fact two cultures.

The man is William Blake, the wonderful poet and painter, who once said, "To Generalize is to be an Idiot; To Particularize is the Alone Distinction of Merit."

What he was saying in his typical vehement way, was be precise.

And to give a demonstration of what he meant, applied to marketing, let us travel half way across the world, to India.

Wanted. A Brahmin bridegroom for girl under 23

This is a story told to me 21 years ago by the Managing Director of O & M Direct in India, R. Sridhar.

When we met I asked him how he got married to his wife Vijay. Did arranged marriages still exist in India? Or was it a love match?

He said that it was an arranged marriage and 70% of marriages were still arranged.

Then he told this story.

Sridhar had written an article in "Business India" on Direct Marketing - hoping to get some more business.

The next day an elderly, distinguished person arrived at his door with his wife.

Sridhar noticed he carried a copy of "Business India" and was most interested.

He invited the man in and said: "Can I help you?" And this is how the conversation went.

"I have a daughter who is ready to get married. And last week I placed a matrimonial ad in the papers. I am very disappointed with the response."

It's very common in India to advertise for your bride. That's precisely how Sridhar found his own wife.

The man continued: "Then I saw this article. You seem to have done something for a restaurant, a blood bank and some computer. I wonder if you could raise responses for a matrimonial ad."

He then gave Sridhar a fifteen minute lecture on how difficult it was to get girls married - and why as a last resort he had thought of advertising.

Sridhar asked for a copy of the advertisement.

It said:

Wanted: Brahmin bridegroom, for a well accomplished South Indian girl under 23. Reply Box No.

Sridhar: "You said the response is poor."

"Of course it is bloody poor. I got three replies. One is from a widower. One is from a Kashmiri Brahmin. The third is from a boy who is just 23. Too young."

"Look, my daughter is a MSc. first class. This chap should at least have a good degree. Of course he must have a good job. And he must be the right age. She is 23."

So they wrote the ad again: Wanted: a well educated, well employed bridegroom around 27 for a 23 year old South Indian Brahmin MSc. Reply ....

This was rejected by the man's wife because it didn't say anything about horoscopes, which are considered important in India.

Also it didn't clarify whether they were looking for an Iyer or an Iyengar bridegroom - these are two particular types of Brahmin.

The girl was fairly slim and very fair. The more traditional Indians are very concerned about whether people are fair or dark (a common concern in many cultures, for those of you who are politically correct.)

So they had to take account of this and also the fact that the girl was a very good Carnatic Music Singer. Thus, the son-in-law must appreciate music.

The girl was also an officer in the State bank with a good salary. And she was the only daughter of a well to do industrialist. On the other hand, she didn't mind settling abroad.

So they rewrote it again:

"Wanted: a well educated, well employed, Iyengar bridegroom around 27, for a 23 year old, 5'6" very fair, slim, South Indian Brahmin MSc. Bank Officer. Well accomplished Carnatic singer. Only daughter of a successful industrialist. Girl willing to settle abroad. Reply with horoscope..."

They showed the wife the draft again. By this time Sridhar was hoping it would go through.

But she was a difficult client. She rejected it again. It didn't say anything about lineage. So there had to be another qualification - non-Bharadwaja - which means nothing to me, but meant a lot to them. This is how the ad then read:

"Wanted: a well educated, well employed non-Bharadwaja Iyengar bridegroom around 27, for a 23 year old South India very fair, slim, 5'6" MSc Bank Officer. Well accomplished Carnatic singer. Only daughter of a successful industrialist. Girl is willing to settle abroad. Reply with horoscope...."

Then the lady turned the question of media placement.

"Where did you place your last ad?"

"Times of India in Bombay," said the husband.

"Quite wrong" said the lady. "You should have gone into the Hindu. Even in Bombay, the type we are looking for will buy the Hindu every Sunday only for the matrimonial ads. Make sure you release it on a Sunday."

So the media schedule was settled. But what about the timing?

"We can get it in next Sunday", Sridhar said.

No, no", said the lady. "This is the month of ashada. Nobody ever contemplates marriage this month. So you wouldn't get any replies.

And another thing. Do you think you could get a Madras Box Number? Because I think you will get better replies."

"How much would it cost?" asked her husband.

"About Rs. 390," said Sridhar

"My God. If I only got three replies, each reply would cost me Rs. 130."

His wife said "So what? Why are you bothered about numbers? If you get one worthwhile alliance, won't that be enough?"

A few weeks later the gentleman called Sridhar and said:

"You know that ad you did for us. We released it in the Hindu two weeks ago and got nearly 40 replies. There are at least seven worthwhile. Thanks a lot."

Sridhar confessed to having squirmed when he accepted this compliment. He realised his clients had contributed most. They'd taught him quite a lesson about targeting and creative.

I find this story interesting for three reasons.

First, it demonstrates that no matter what country you are in, your clients can often teach you a lesson.

Second, it shows that the more precise your copy is the better you will do - and that usually means making it longer.

And third, that the quality of the reply often matters more than the cost.

Best
Drayton

The reasons highlighted at the end are the moral of the story but the very last one is by far the most important in my book as the quality turns the cost into an investment.

regards
Rob Willox
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